You have to start with a Molson Canadian for fucksake. You're in the Toronto airport after all.
Given the choice of heading into the city of Toronto during our six-hour layover, or sitting at the airport bar, what do you think Mr. Bretthead and I decided to do? Airport bars are the best (except for the occasional mass shooting story you have to listen to). What are some random questions that cross my mind while downing my second beer here:
- How many beers can I drink, and still be allowed to board my flight to Dublin?
- If a girl is (a) decent looking, and (b) wearing either leggings or something highlighting her boobs, then I'm in, is that wrong?
- How sexy would it be if the stewardesses from rival airlines start a West Side Story type of brawl in the middle of Pearson Airport.
- Why is Toronto's airport named "Pearson Airport". I've never heard of Pearson, so really, how important of a person could this "Pearson" person be?
- Why the hell didn't a company that rhymes with Momcast, pay for us to be in the Air Canada Lounge?
- Should I take advantage of the "Buy a Beer Get a Shot" special?
I just got my first stamp in my Passport, and I can't wait to explore Dublin. I've been told I'm "Dublin Handsome" and I can't wait to test that theory out.
"Yes Julie, I'll take another Rickard's Red. Thanks!"
Slainte!
Good job Jeff. My immediate feedback on each bullet would be:
- Unlimited. Dude, we are going to Dublin where everyone is drunk.
- I know what you are trying to say here but you aren't really making sense and I totally understand why. Wow. Wow!! (I looked again between wows)
- The airlines around here sure make their employees wear unis. I want to grab some beer bottles and start chanting, "Warriors. Warriors........ Come out and play-aaaaaaaaa."
- This was a masterpiece. Good job Geoff (Jeff).
- Right?!!! WTF?
- Tough call. Since we are on round three of beer and still have over three hours to go, let's hold Julie and Olga off from getting us shots.
That was good stuff on the fly. Get it? On the fly?
Next stop? Dublin. Make that the bathroom. We are gonna get a shite-load of comments on this post.
Slainte!!!!!
GOD, I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall right now and see you guys in all your glory. Please do a post when you are all liquored up in Dublin on some Guinness or Smithwick's and tell us about those HOT Irish lassies.
ReplyDeleteEither you guys are going to have an awesome flight ... or you're going to get arrested. I think it's pretty much 50/50 right now.
ReplyDeleteBased on FB updates, I can see that you were both successful in making the flight. But really, don't you think you'd have to actually kill someone or full on mess yourself in order to be banned from a flight that leads to the land of Guinness?
ReplyDeleteExcellent post Jeff/Brett! Please send photos of the next round of binge drinking as well as any fights that you get in. I'm all tingly just thinking about it!
I'm just relieved you didn't go see batman forever last night.
ReplyDeleteHave fun on your trip!
I grew up with a Geoff in Toronto. It wasn't until I moved to the states that I realized what a silly, slightly pretentious spelling that is. So well done Jeff on not being silly and pretentious. Well, pretentious anyway.
ReplyDeleteI would pay money to see the West-Side-Story brawl between stewardesses. Particularly if you stuck some beer bottles on your fingers and started saying "Warriooooooors..."
ReplyDelete"company that rhymes with Momcast."
ReplyDeleteStill LOLing
I knew there was a reason I liked that Jeff guy, you two are such a cute couple! Have fun getting your snuggle on!
ReplyDeleteBring the mother fuckin' ruckus.
ReplyDelete@JKIRF: I have stories. Lots of stories. Blog fodder Dublin style.
ReplyDelete@kelllie: We managed to not be arrested although that might be due to dumb luck.
@angie: It was an incredible trip. I'll blog about it for sure. And of course I'll give you the inside scoop!!
@candice: Ugh, that is so sad. Jeff even made a comment in his part of this post that was BEFORE all that happened. Eerily scary.
@vapidvixen: Good thing Jeff spells his name the right way. Unfortunately, I had to apologize for bringing Jeff on the trip about a dozen times. Ha, we were way too much fun!
@ATPost: Come out and plaaaaaaaaay-aaaaaaaaa!
@justld: Your mothership has been good to us!
@randomgirl: You know a reason to like him? Let me know what it is!!
@simplyagirl: Oh we brought it. And we left it all over Dublin. They loved us!
Well who DOESN'T love killa bees on the swarm? That shit crosses oceans.
ReplyDelete@simplyagirl: Now I feel like borrowing John Belushi's Killer Bee costume and causing havoc in your hometown.
ReplyDeletePearson was a very important prime minister of Canada at one time. I can't remember his actual title, but I'm friends with his granddaughter, a famous writer and sometimes blogger named Patricia Pearson. You can look her up at patriciapearson.com if you want to. She's funny as shit when she wants to be. I think you might like her. I'm friend with her on Facebook, too. Not that I'm bragging. Yes I am.
ReplyDeleteOK,my bad, her blog is here and not the other address I blindly typed without checking. And seriously, I've read all her books and several of her op/ed articles from the National Post. She's a riot.
ReplyDelete@memphis steve: That is so funny that you are connected to the Pearsons. Some of Jeff's comments are proving to be eerie like that, particularly when he mentioned mass shootings (written before the debacle here in Colorado happened). I'll go check out her blog. Thanks for the (corrected) link!!
ReplyDeleteTell your friend is was me, that time, and I'm wearing the same outfit - and I'll be right over.
ReplyDeleteAfter your return to US, blood transfusions, and liver transplants, naturally.
Signed,
Kristine (changed to protect the guilty)