More Balls Stories

If you are looking for the post on Rich and his pulverized foot, it’s down one blog; or click here.  This post is about other fun stuff besides friends getting run over by cars.  There are other ways to feel pain.  My kids for example.

Our Florida trip was great.  The kids had a blast.  But Drew didn’t enjoy the beach so much.  We were playing in the waves when Drew said, “Daddy, my balls hurt.”  I love it when my kids talk about their balls.

“What’s the matter with your balls buddy?”

“They hurt!”

“Yeah you said that. But why?”

“I don’t know.”   And then he moaned and held his sack while a wave crashed over us.

I sighed.  “Okay, let me see them.” 

“Right here?”  He started laughing.

“Sure.  Nobody will notice.  Let’s take a quick look.”

He yanked the front of his bathing suit down and sure enough the poor little guy’s balls were red.  They were smooshed by his bathing suit and rubbing against the mesh.  The combo of mesh with salt water was irritating Drewby’s ball sack.  He said, “That feels better already.”  He would have been happy skinny-dipping.

“Oh buddy, I see the problem.  Your suit is too small.  Let me see the tag.”  He turned around and I saw that he was wearing a 4.  Which is sized for four-year olds.  Drew is turning seven in three weeks.  Daddy of the Year.

Speaking of balls, my buddy Tom had to guard his the other night at Second Home.  We went out for drinks Wednesday night and spent some time at the trendy bar in Cherry Creek North.  The people watching there is outstanding.  And humorous.  It’s a meat market that is 50/50 men to women and covers the spectrum in ages. 

Tom and I were hanging out by an island table chatting and watching the show.  Some guy was walking by us and looking to his left.  A waitress was coming toward the dude from his right with a tray full of drinks.  Tom put his hand on the guy’s shoulder to stop him or he would have plowed right into her.  Disaster averted.

The funny thing was the guy just stood there next to Tom instead of continuing on.  He was peeking at Tom while looking around, clearly hoping he would talk to him.  Tom and I both realized it right away and I had a hard time not laughing too much.  I gave Tom the raised eyebrows and asked him if he wanted me to take off.  Tom is not gay, by the way.  At least he claims he’s not.  His wife vouches for him.  All those hot chicks at Second Home and Tom picks up a guy.  Classic.

Continuing on with the balls theme, everyone in Colorado is sweating their balls off.  Yes, even the chicks.  We had six straight days over a hundred degrees before two days in a row only in the nineties.  Back over a hundred today.  But I’m not complaining.  My house isn’t burning down.  The whole state seems to be on fire.  Between four fires, over 700 homes have been lost.  That sucks balls.

I have my kids this weekend and most of next week.  Then I’m taking a break to hit Vegas.  I’ll be with lots of friends which is nice cuz they can help me celebrate my 45^th birthday on July 9^th.  On the 10^th I will be closer to fifty than forty.  Yikes.  That sucks old man balls. 

The good news is that every year seems to be better than the last for me.  I’m in a good place.  I’m doing pretty well living in the moment while having things to look forward to.  I have a great balance of responsibility (particularly with my children and business) and freedom.  In fact, I have a full week in early August when my ex is taking my kids on vacation.  Even though I’ll be going to Burning Man at the end of the month, I think I should go somewhere that early week in August.

I’ve thought about a road trip out west.  I’ve never spent much time in Seattle.  Or I could fly somewhere like Costa Rica.  Or backpack in the Tetons.  Or visit some friends in the New York area.  Chase down some music, maybe somewhere like Austin?  It’s fun to think about.  I don’t feel old at all.