I just returned from a long weekend in Sin City with a bunch of friends. Nobody got arrested or hurt, so I’d say it was a successful trip. I take that back – my wallet got hurt pretty badly, but the price of entertainment softened the blow.
My buddy said, “I just want to remind everyone that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and on my Facebook page.” I defriended him immediately. Not being one to kiss and tell (unless you ask me directly), I will only recap out of context – way out of context. Things said and heard in no particular order:
· Your hair is purple again.
· Unless we hang out with P Diddy.
· I love single moms.
· Look at the midgets!
· I’m glad we didn’t get soaked by blood.
· I’m cold.
· Which hooker shoes do you want me to wear?
· I’m looking forward to a shower.
· I went to sleep alone and woke up next to The Hut.
· Woo Woo Girl.
· There is another Elvis!
· Wow!
· She is trying too hard.
· I love bacon so much.
· Happy little red chips.
· You are out of my age demographic.
· We are going to Home Sauce?
· Look at the slow motion fight! Oh, now they are going to kiss. No, they are fighting again.
· I get dibs on Vegas!
· Behave.
· There is a guy asleep at the bar.
· I’m leaving this table ahead damn it!
· Did you bring the blowjob stuff?
· That pull is a push.
· Did you get the bacon video?
· Honey badger don’t care.
· Do you know who Franco Harris is?
· Somebody is puking all over the men’s room (at 10am).
· The glass elevator is great for looking up skirts. She has on pink panties.
· That was reckless.
· Let’s buy that pouch of vodka.
· She is more hooker than you.
· Big Man Little Dog (in a track suit).
Funny thng is. I know exactly what you mean. Glad you had fun. xo
ReplyDelete· Which hooker shoes do you want me to wear?
ReplyDeleteThat was so you! Am I right?
I think Big Man, Little Dog deserves a song to go with it.
ReplyDeleteI hope your hooker shoes didn't give you blisters...
Moral of the story: Whores in glass elevators shouldn't wear undies.
ReplyDeleteWe need to coordinate our trips better... I'm going to Vegas in a couple weeks. I'll keep a look out for your mind;)
OMG! I LOVE blowjob stuff.
ReplyDeleteBlow job stuff is overrated.
ReplyDelete@christine: Shhhhhhhhh,
ReplyDelete@angie: I like classy hooker shoes.
@mel: Good thing I carry flats (my chucks) where ever I go.
@consciously sedated: What I really want is for you to host an Austin visit during one of the music fests. Or really just anytime for great music. Oh, and if you find my mind in Vegas, be very careful. It is a loose cannon and thinks anything goes in Vegas.
@6FM: You just wrote your new personal description.
@momo: But not blowjobs.
Oh come on! That is so mean, i NEED context :P
ReplyDeleteI totally wish you and your rowdy friends could come party it up in Hawaii. Loads of fun would be had.
ReplyDeleteThe Hut? As in Jabba? I'll have to revisit this...during daylight hours.
ReplyDelete@gia: I must protect the innocent and not so innocent.
ReplyDelete@aggy: Hawaii would be a whole different kind of fun. Not quite as easy to pull off a long weekend!
@vapid vixen: You know better than to try to understand. Just nod your head. Up and down or side to side. Both are applicable.
I really don't think any Vegas trip would be a true Vegas trip without seeing midgets. It's sort of requisite, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI really, really don't like Vegas. That means, of course, I've already made up my mind I can't have fun there.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is I won't go and spoil anyone else's fun.
Bacon, hookers, and pink panties...sounds like Honey Badger had an awesome time. Rock on.
ReplyDelete(I think you should host a story contest and they have to use every one of those lines....lol)
NOBODY is more hooker than me, sir! Nobody!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your abstract version of events. However what I want are grimy, grimy details.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right. This whole trip is beyond my comprehension. Besides, I've already got the slack-jawed vacant eyed look down perfectly.
ReplyDelete@hunnerwoof: I think you are right. Besides the four on stage at the Motley Crue concert, I saw one driving a scooter, and on two separate occasions ones running around our hotel. It delighted me.
ReplyDelete@IT: There are all kinds of versions of Vegas fun. It can be all about shows or fine dining. It doesn't have to be the party it sounds like. I bet you'd have fun.
@chantel: That would have been a better title for this post!
@minxy: I'm still kicking myself for letting the guys talk me out of Memphis for that long weekend a couple years back. I would have found out first hand if you are right!
@bridgette: You know you will get them.
So, I take it you didn't run into any donuts.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a blast!
ReplyDeleteVegas sounds like my kind of town!
ReplyDeleteSo which hooker shoes DID you go with?
ReplyDeleteI used to go to Vegas every year for COMDEX. With that now gone, I took my wife there to show her the haunts (yes, including the table dance places).
ReplyDeleteWe were standing in front of the Bellagio and my wife turned around taking in the 360 degree view of that opulence and said: "Amazing... all this made possible by losers".