My eight year old son used air quotes on me last night. Where the hell did he learn that? I hate air quotes and never use them, but have to admit he made me laugh when he did them. I am always amazed when kids incorporate sarcasm into their humor.
I tend to write down funny things people say. Often times the humor in them is the idea of what they said being out of context. But other times it is just plain funny. My kids are often the source of the Quote Notes I keep on my phone. I may have mentioned some of these in previous blogs, but I think it’s time to put some out there all in one post:
Me: How was school?
Drew: Good. I mean bad. First I fell off the swing at lunch. Then I was bleeding at nap. And I’m bleeding now.
Will: Is there really a sub atomic universe in every part of our body?
Drew: For some reason I forget things very quickly.
Drew: This festival only has porty parties.
Me: I’ve got two sweet boys.
Drew: Just like you wanted.
Drew: I saw an ant carrying a dead ant to the graveyard.
Will: I’m bringing the Live Girl in to Einstein’s.
Drew: And I’m bringing the Buddha.
Will: I wanted to cross breed but we don’t have enough coins.
Me (noticing Will spacing out – this was in June): How are you doing?
Will: Good. I thought of a great trap for leprechaun day. St. Patrick’s Day.
Me: Are you walking funny cuz your bottom hurts?
Drew: Yeah, it happens a lot.
Will: One time at micro science camp…
Will: Are you really going to cut off my head if I drop your MacBook?
Will: Are you going to do the Stairs of Terror or the Hallway of Horrors?
Will: Grandpa is 100% Bohemian. Daddy is 50% Bohemian. And I am 25% Bohemian.
Drew: And I’m 100% Jedi!
Will: I love you.
Me: I love you more.
Will: I love you most.
Me: I love you.
I have accomplished a lot of great things in my life. But nothing has come close to what I’ve got with my two little angels. And who knew they would be such great actors. Here they are being (insert air quotes) injured.