“Hey Mr. Bug, how’s it going?”
“Hi Ms. Spider! Looking good today, baby. Hairy legs and all.”
Batting eyelashes seductively, “Why thank you, Bug. You are such a gentleman. Why don’t you come closer?”
“Really?” Smiles bashfully and then notices sticky web of commitment and certain doom. “I mean, I would, but I never really know what you want from me Spider.”
Licking lips, “Oh Bug, you should never try to understand a woman. Haven’t you learned that by now? Since when do you follow your brain anyway?”
“Ha, that is the problem Spider. I always follow my heart. But sometimes it sets me up for trouble.”
“What makes you think I’d cause you any trouble?” Spider casually steps in front of a recently spun lost relationship – poor little insect.
“Well, I’m no fly on the wall, but I think you might be a real heartbreaker.”
Spider gets pouty in a somehow very sexy way. “Oh Bug, it hurts me to hear you say that.” Bug steps closer, eyeing those long legs. And legs. And legs. And legs. Some sort of secretion normally meant to break down food into something malleable drools out of Bug’s mouth.
Spider enjoys the attention and stretches her legs and cephalothorax for a little extra tease. “My my, isn’t someone a bit bug-eyed?”
Bug snapped out of it and realized he was nearly within touching range of the beautiful Ms. Spider. “I, um, well hi, yes, hey look! Something shiny.” Spider instantly was lost in her own world, transfixed by a sparkling light.
Bug looked at her and knew she was special. She was different, like he was. It didn’t matter that she was a spider and he was a bug. They could overcome anything. Sure, she should just find a spider in a nearby corner to spin wild yarns with, wrap a newly grown leg around his pedicel, and tickle his pedipalps. Bug isn’t a spider. But they had a connection like no other. Their hearts beat faster with each other. Why can’t they be together?
Spider’s transfixion with the shiny thing ended and she set six of her twelve eyes back on Bug. He was close, yet so far. Her other six eyes were lost, searching for something she didn’t have.
One second, Bug felt so attached, the next he felt like he was on the bottom of a shoe. He couldn’t leap into her tangled web right now. There didn’t seem to be any choice. She pushed him away. He backed off.
Spider eyed Bug longingly. But she didn’t say anything. She just let him go. Bug thought of Spider longingly. It all changed so quickly. He wandered aimlessly.
They were sad.
Bit of a surprise ending, there.
ReplyDeleteI have a sneaky suspicion Spider will cheer with the next passing bug..
ReplyDeleteWell, I think Bug made a good choice. Even if she WAS honest about loving him and wanting him and all that, how many species of spiders see females that kill and eat the male after copulation?
ReplyDeleteRun, bug, run.
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ReplyDeletePoor Bug. I hear he's taken to writing sad blog posts. I hope he'll find a new love.
ReplyDelete@eva: Yeah, didn't see that coming!
ReplyDelete@shrinky: As long as Spider and Bug are happy...
@mjenks: Females are tricky.
@blissed: Bug just likes to mix it up now and then. Regularly scheduled programming returning soon.
Relationships seldom work if both parties don't share the same number of legs... besides, when there eventually is a break-up, who gets custody of the larva?
ReplyDeleteI really like this story - it is making a lot of sense to me these days.
ReplyDeleteI like that Bug, but I hear that Spider is a conniving bitch.
ReplyDeleteVery entertaining!
RUN bug RUN.
ReplyDelete@robert: Laughing. Seriously, I want an invite to the next family reunion. Between you and Kara (and what little I have read from guest posts from the other daughter - waif?), it would be nonstop laughs.
ReplyDelete@brett: I had you in mind when I wrote it.
@scribe: Its interesting to see how people interpret this little story. Its for all the Spiders and Bugs out there.
@lickety: Life certainly is like a box of chocolates.
Loved this. Truly loved it.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, there are plenty of spiders in the sea. And centipedes and praying mantis and flying ants. And if the bug is really lucky, butterflies.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a book about how I currently relate to your tangled tale, but I deleted it. Second option was to go Dick and Jane on ya. Gotta love Forrest.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry my little bug friend. Dust you antennas off and get back out there. Just don't pollinate too many flowers on your journey!
ReplyDeleteawww...I felt sad reading your post...love it though...
ReplyDelete@Wow,
ReplyDeleteI had a feeling when I read it, but didn't want to assume.
Bug had an experience a lot like this today with Spider.
Bug is getting tired of this, really tired - and thinking that it may be time to strike out on his own, and remember who he is again.
poor bug.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Diary of a Spider to your kids?
ReplyDeleteIf not, you should. Bug and Spider make peace. I kid you not. You can borrow my copy.
@mossum: Well, I'm glad I posted it then. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@moi: You can put together the soundtrack for Bug's adventures.
@lickety: We coulda had a blog within a blog.
@danielle: Why not? :)
@cassie: It is sad.
@brett: There are lots of Bugs and Spiders out there. Lots and lots and lots. They come out of the woodwork. I'm sorry you are relating all too well. I can tell you, with much confidence, that it can be okay. It just won't be easy.
@candy: Indeed.
@fuzzy: I haven't. I don't know it. I will take you up on it.
just like real life xxx
ReplyDeleteWell, bug has likely learned a little about spiders, and had some good times finding out. Now, on to something new and even more interesting.
ReplyDeleteMy son is going through a spider-bug dance right now and it is hard to watch without reaching out and just wiping that web right out of that corner of his world.
:( That was much sadder than Charlotte's Web. You know where to find me if you ever want to exchange insect IMs.
ReplyDelete